A few tips on how to separate yourself from the typical guy online… These are general guidelines that I’ve found to work and not absolute rules.
Don’t ask for the woman’s name right away.
If she doesn’t have it on her profile and she doesn’t put it in any of her messages to you, don’t ask for it too soon. Why? Every guy does it. Women, generally speaking, get weary about giving their name out too soon simply because every guy asks for it so soon without getting to know them.
Let the girl get a feel for your personality first.
Carry on your conversation with her and when you get her phone number say something like “Wow, we’ve been chatting all of this time and I don’t even know your name…?” Better still… see if you can get the woman to ask you for your name first.
Don’t ask for her phone number too soon. Again, I want to emphasize that these are not absolute rules, but general guidelines that will separate you from the typical guy online.
Build a connection with the woman first. Exchange some stories, some jokes, and build anticipation.
You know you’ve done your job when the girl takes the initiative and asks you for your number.
Most guys get all nervous when they get a response back from a woman they messaged or if a woman messages them… “I better hurry up and get her number before I lose her.” It’s this thought process and insecurity that will push the woman away.
Don’t try to meet up with her too soon after you get her phone number. Are we sensing a theme here?
Text her a little bit first and see if she’s free to talk on the phone. “Hey, I know face to face is the best way to get to know someone, but I think when meeting someone online it’s best to talk on the phone first. Are you free in a few hours?”
“If you pass the phone test then maybe we can meet up in person sometime 😛 ” Make it obvious that you’re being playful.
“Hey, are you free to talk on the phone later today? Just want to make sure you’re not crazy! 😛 ” Again, make it obvious you’re just being fun.
What are most guys thinking… “I don’t want to talk to her on the phone first. What if she doesn’t want to meet up if I mess up?”
What’s a guy that knows what he’s doing thinking… “After she talks to me on the phone she’s definitely going to want to meet me in person. I hope I still want to meet her after talking on the phone.”
The list of how to separate yourself from the vast majority of guys online goes on and on, but these are some of the key ones. As I’ve said before, these are not absolute rules. There are times to ask for her name, phone number, and for her to meet up with you sooner rather than later, but as a general rule of thumb, it’s better to be a little more laid back and not rush things.
Don’t take this to the extreme. There will come a point when the woman gets frustrated and annoyed. She’ll think you’re either not that into her, are too busy with other women, or aren’t man enough to take the initiative. So don’t wait too long.
Eventually, through experience, you’ll gain a sense of when the right moment is to move things forward. Notice I said “through experience”… Reading, imagining, and thinking about these concepts doesn’t count. Go try it out and see for yourself.
The next time you talk to a woman online, try this laid back approach and see what happens. Relax and be patient. You can’t squeeze juice from unripe fruit. Let the moment ripen and then move forward.