“Approach anxiety” is just what it sounds like in the context of meeting women… It’s fear and anxiety experienced when approaching a woman that you’re attracted to. Approach anxiety can be mild or extremely intense. Some men experience an all out adrenaline release at even the thought of approaching a beautiful woman. Believe it or not, many men even experience a degree of fear and anxiety when messaging women through online dating websites.
If you’re a guy with a substantial level of approach anxiety, it’s important to realize that fear of approaching women and fear in general serves a purpose.
It is not some evil force that doesn’t belong in the human body.
Fear directs and modifies our behavior. It tells us to do things with caution and care. It protects us.
If you’re stranded in the wilderness you can’t curl up into a ball, totally afraid, and just sit there. You’ll die. If it gets cold overnight, you’ll freeze to death. You’ll eventually starve or dehydrate.
Wouldn’t it be equally foolish, though, if you just took off running at full sprint, totally fearless?
You’ll break an ankle. You’ll burn up all of your energy too quickly. You’ll run right into an animal that will kill you or off the edge of a cliff.
Fear is not your enemy. Stop trying to get rid of it and start listening to it. Learn to deal with your fear and channel it, rather than trying to force it away. Trust your fear. I don’t believe that approach anxiety is telling you to run away and not approach.
Listen a little bit more attentively and you’ll find that your approach anxiety is telling you that you should approach, but that you should do so with care and caution.
You should approach in a calculated way. You should message that girl online in a calculated way, too. You should be vigilant.
What makes more sense… Approaching a woman with a “healthy” sense of fear and nervousness that you learn to channel or blindly approaching women without a second thought and completely devoid of emotion? Should we just message that pretty girl online the first thing that pops into our head or listen to that fear that’s trying to communicate to us?
What do you think a level headed woman wants… a guy with a healthy sense of fear or a fearless robot that’s completely disconnected from his emotions?
Do not artificially try to steer your fear into any unnatural direction. It doesn’t work.
Ironically, when you stop trying to force your fear away, you’ve taken the first step in learning to deal with your friend fear. It’s no longer something that needs to be controlled in a forceful and aggressive way.
It becomes a useful and powerful energy that is trying to communicate with you and keep you safe.
Even though, at times, fear can make your head feel clouded and your muscles weak, your body is actually more alert and more aware than it normally is when you get that adrenaline release. Taken a step further, when you learn to control the release, you are even more alert and awake. You’re now paddling the boat and you have a huge gust of wind filling your sails at the same time.
Accepting fear is the first step to conquering it. It’s there for a reason and serves a purpose.
Approach anxiety and fear are by far the biggest hurdles to overcome in order to achieve results. I place a huge emphasis on understanding fear and executing tactics to get it under control. Through one-on-one coaching I am able to hone in on these problem areas in ways that can’t be matched. Whether you’re looking to improve your results in the online dating world or any other avenue, we have custom coaching programs that we tailor to your specific needs.
Click here to contact me for a free phone consultation. Let’s get your fear under control so your true personality can burn bright. Coaching is 100% confidential.