Q: How do I reduce flakes?
A: You build a solid connection with her before getting her phone number. You don’t go for the phone number as soon as possible. You don’t ask her out as soon as possible. Exchange some texts. Send her a voice recording telling her a random story.
Don’t immediately start making plans to hang out via text. Text her a few funny GIFs.
Make her wonder why you’re not asking her out right away like all of the other dudes.
Tell her you need to call her and tell her something funny that happened to you. Tell your story and don’t mention hanging out.
Build a solid buzz before asking her to do something. Have something you’re already doing and ask her to join you. When she meets up with you, escalate things slowly (physically).
Do you have to do ALL of the above every time with every girl to reduce flaking? No.
Paint a picture in your mind though of a super slow escalation and a super slow process and realize that every interaction you have with a woman falls somewhere on a spectrum. On one extreme end of the spectrum, you have super fast, and on the other end you have ssslllloooowwww.
Each woman is different and will have varying degrees of experience, comfort, attraction for you, and options with other men in her life.
Most guys move too fast. They go for the number too fast. They’re asking her to meet right away within the first few texts. If she’s busy, they’re immediately trying to find the first day she’s free, thinking they need to lock in a date. “What about Saturday? What about Sunday? Well, when are you free?” Once on the date, they’re too eager.
Don’t change once you get her phone number. Many guys have an “Oh shit, I got her phone number” moment and all of a sudden their emotional state changes. They’re not the cool, fun, laid back guy… They’re excited, over-thinking all of their texts, and coming from a different headspace.
Women can sense this, sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously. Even if they can’t consciously tell you’re nervous and over-thinking everything, there will be something just “off” about your vibe.
Be the same person from start to finish, all the way through the interaction.
If you’re like most guys, you’re moving too fast, not too slow. There is a time to escalate fast and capitalize on high points to solidify the woman’s attraction for you. You do want to demonstrate that you take charge when you need and sometimes it happens fast.
All in all though, if you get more experience under your belt, you’ll find most men act like dogs waiting to be released from their cages. Women are constantly having to slow things down and lead the conversation. The guys they date are in a constant state of observing her, reacting to her, and waiting to seize their chance. Lame.
The woman knows he wants her and knows as soon as she opens the cage door, the guy is going to come barreling at her. Reverse that… Push away a little bit. Slow it down.
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