I’m often asked by students, “After I get a girl’s phone number, how soon should I text her?”

Like many things in the dating world, there is no perfect answer to this question. It depends.

Sometimes texting her right away will get the best response. Sometimes waiting a day or so will get the best response.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter how long you wait or don’t wait.

It never ceases to amaze me when I hear so-called “dating experts” answer questions like this. I hear advice like “Always text her right away.” and “Always wait a few days.”

Eliminate the word “always” from your vocabulary when it comes to your dating life. There are very few things you should “always” do. You should always be operating with a sense of integrity, but you should not be always responding the same way when you get a girl’s phone number.

Doing certain things the same way over and over has some benefits. It allows you to see patterns and really assess whether something is working or not, but don’t take that to the extreme and turn yourself into a robot that is always operating on autopilot.

You should be learning to be adaptable. Try to use your best judgment in the moment when deciding if you should text a woman right away or wait it out.

If you’re not sure what to do, flip a coin and see how things play out. If you’re stressing out too much over when you should text a woman, you’re already coming from a mindset of scarcity.

On top of that, if you did a good job of building a connection with a woman before you got her phone number, then it’s really not going to matter too much if you text her sooner or later.

I’m sorry if you were looking for a more clear-cut answer, but there isn’t one.

Try to use your judgment as best you can in the moment when you’re deciding to text a woman or not. If you really can’t decide, literally flip a coin and see how things play out. Take a look at the feedback you’re getting and continue to try to use your best judgment. Little by little, you will start to gain an intuition for when the best time to text is.

Having an intuitive sense of how soon to text a woman will serve you much better than looking for some sort of “rule for texting” to follow.

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