On your journey to improving your dating life, it’s crucial that you run your own race, focus on doing your own personal best, and not compare yourself to others. Stop worrying about who is better looking than you, who has better conversational skills than you, who has more friends than you, who has more money than you, and who is overall living a life of more success with women. In addition to not fixating on those that you perceive as “better” than you, stop wasting time dwelling on the guys that you are more skilled than.
There is nothing wrong with looking at other people that have the success that you want and honing in on what makes them successful, learning from what they do, and trying to incorporate some of their attributes into your own way of being.
This is a healthy and useful process. However, jealousy, envy, and constantly feeling inferior to other men will only discourage you and waste energy. If observing others motivates you, inspires you, and propels you in the right direction, then you’re doing it right. If it doesn’t and you’re finding yourself feeling uninspired, unmotivated, and lacking drive, then you aren’t focusing your attention properly.
There’s also nothing wrong with looking at certain characteristics of others that you don’t like and shedding yourself of unattractive and unproductive behaviors.
Again, there is a balanced way of going about this though. If you become too fixated on the faults of others and are constantly validating yourself through that lens, you’re wasting time that could have been invested into making yourself even better. Feelings of superiority can lead to complacency and cause your improvement to stall. Pat yourself on the back when you do well, but do it in a rational and balanced way.
If I’m running a race, what’s going to be the most effective way to achieve my personal best… Constantly picking my head up to see how far ahead everyone else is? What about constantly looking over my shoulder to see how far ahead of others I am?
Doesn’t it make much more sense to keep a level head and just focus on pushing myself to the best of my abilities?
Use the successes and failures of other people in a positive way and objectively. Stop feeling inferior and/or superior. Each person is unique and incomparable.
The people that use the success and failure of others as their own measuring stick only make temporary gains and in the long run end up wasting a lot of time and energy. Don’t be one of them.